Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) | Joshua Harris

Joshua Harris. Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is). Multnomah, 2005. 192 pp.

Seven Tips for Fighting Internet Porn

The Internet is a wonderful tool. We can use it to work, to study, to play, even to share the gospel with people in other parts of the world. But if you and I aren’t careful, it can become a door to great sin and spiritual ruin. Christian men and women, church leaders included, have fallen prey to the temptations of lust on-line. Whether it’s illicit relationships in chat rooms, immoral blog content, or pornographic sites, the invitation to sin is especially dangerous because the Internet is so accessible and what we see and do there is so easily hidden from others. But God sees all our sin. And impurity of any kind will always lead to heartache and regret. Whether or not this is a current area of temptation for you, the following seven tips will equip you to honor God online.

1. IDENTIFY WHAT’S LEADING UP TO LUSTFUL INDULGENCE ON THE INTERNET.

For most people, sin on-line is preceded by compromise in areas such as their fantasies, television viewing, or reading material. It might seem like sexual sin on-line “comes out of nowhere,” but it’s really something we build up to through disobedience in other areas. Prayerfully consider where you can be fighting the little battles more diligently so you can avoid the big ones.

2. RESOLVE THAT NO TECHNOLOGICAL CONVENIENCE IS WORTH SINNING AGAINST GOD.

Most people have to use the Internet for school or work. But we should never place the convenience of technology above God’s commands for holiness. If you’ve struggled with Internet porn or impurity of any kind, be willing to take radical action. Maybe that means no Internet access at your home for a season. Or not having high-speed access. Or staying away from chat rooms or specific kinds of surfing, period. It could mean going on-line only when you’re with other people. My dad has only one computer in his house with a web browser, and that computer is in the middle of the living room. But that’s not all . . . my mom is the only one with the password to get onto it! Inconvenient? Incredibly so! But he’s more concerned with protecting himself and my younger brothers than with convenience.

3. EXAMINE YOUR MIND-SET WHEN BROWSING AND THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT ON-LINE.

Susan found herself increasingly going on-line when she was feeling lonely or depressed. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t long before she got involved in visiting sites that led her into sin. If Internet use has become a mindless entertainment activity, where your brain goes into neutral and your defenses are down, you’re in dangerous territory. You might not be struggling with Internet impurity right now, but there’s a good chance that your behavior and mind-set will lead you there soon. Go on-line with a purpose. And don’t spend tons of time browsing aimlessly. Cutting back so that the time you spend on-line is focused and has a point will significantly cut back on the temptation to slip into the darker corners of the Web.

4. HAVE AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER THAT CONSISTENTLY ASKS ABOUT YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY.

Even if you don’t have a history of struggling with Internet porn, you need a friend who regularly asks how you’re doing in this area. Find someone you trust and respect of the same gender who will put the question to you straight—and wait for your answer. Then get a commitment from him or her to put you on the spot regularly.

5. REDEFINE “OVER THE LINE” (IT’S NOT THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF).

Jared had been struggling with temptation to look at on-line porn for a week. He’d been testing his resolve by visiting somewhat questionable sites, and the urge to indulge kept growing. Unfortunately, he didn’t tell his accountability partner what was happening. Instead he battled in secret. A week later, after he “really messed up” and spent two hours browsing porn sites, he finally called his accountability partner.

Do you see the problem? Jared’s definition of “over the line” when it comes to sin is right at the edge of the cliff. That means when he finally confesses, he’s already fallen.

When it comes to accountability, I think it’s important to back up our definition of messing up on-line. We need to involve others much earlier in the process of temptation. So confess when you’re dabbling with somewhat questionable sites (or okay sites with provocative ads or other content). Share when you’re spending too much time on-line. Make these behaviors your definition of crossing the line so your friends can pray for you and challenge you long before you slip off the edge of temptation into sin. I like what Thomas Watson once wrote: “A godly man will not go as far as he may, lest he go further than he should.”

6. USE WEBSITE FILTERS, BLOCKERS, AND ACCOUNTABILITY SOFTWARE AS A FINAL LINE OF DEFENSE, NOT THE FIRST.

Programs that e-mail a list of all the websites you visit or block bad content are a wonderful tool. But they can’t replace a heart that truly hates sin and desires to please God. Utilize them after you’ve taken a look at your heart and examined the lies you tell yourself in the process of temptation. Do the work of digging into God’s Word, meditating on Scripture, making yourself accountable, and other steps listed above. Otherwise you’re likely to find yourself looking for ways and times to get around the technological fence you’ve put in place. Instead, get your heart convictions in the right place; then your blocking and accountability software can serve to support your commitments.

7. FIGHT THIS SIN THE HARDEST WHEN YOU’RE FEELING STRONG.

Many people experience a level of “victory” over Internet porn for a season—only to be lulled into a false sense of security and fall again. If you’re experiencing a time of relative freedom from impure behavior on-line, that’s good . . . but don’t stop watching this part of your life carefully. It’s when you’re feeling strong that you should fight the hardest. In other words, kick sin when it’s down. You don’t have to fight like a gentleman here. Redouble your grace-motivated efforts. Keep “backing up” your definition of on-line compromise. Memorize Scripture. Pray for God’s power. By doing so you’ll weaken the power of this sin in your life even more.

Adapted from Sex Is Not the Problem © 2003 by Joshua Harris. Used by permission of Multnomah Publishers, Inc. Excerpt may not be reproduced without the prior written consent of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.

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