Beyond the First Visit | Gary McIntosh

Gary McIntosh. Beyond the First Visit: The Complete Guide to Connecting Guests to Your Church. Baker, 2006. 192 pp.

We’re a Friendly Church

If you were to survey churches and ask them to list their strengths, almost every one would include, “We’re a friendly church.” . . . It’s interesting that in every one of the churches I coached, someone either wrote on a survey or stated verbally that they believed their church to be a friendly place. It did not matter if the individuals were attending churches in danger of closing down, in the midst of twenty-year-long plateaus, or bursting forth in growth. They all felt their church was a friendly one. . . .

Often church visitors report that churches are cold, unwelcoming, and not very friendly. How is it that two people can experience the same event and feel so differently about it? How can members believe their church is friendly, while newcomers experience an unfriendly atmosphere? The answer is perception. . . . People who attend a church regularly look at the issue of friendliness from the inside out. From their perspective, they are experiencing a friendly atmosphere. They know other people and other people know them by name. When they have a personal need, their friends take notice and respond with appropriate action. Their perception is that the church is a friendly place.

In contrast, visitors view the issue of friendliness from the outside in. They are experiencing a totally new atmosphere. They may not know other people and other people may not know them. If they have needs, they are rarely noticed, let alone responded to with appropriate action. So visitors may perceive the church as an unfriendly place.

Such different perceptions remind us that . . . friendliness is in the eye of the beholder. Another way to say it is perception is reality. We may think our church is friendly, but it is only friendly to the degree that those visiting our church perceive it to be so. . . .

Company’s coming to our church every Sunday, and what visitors perceive in our welcome will influence their feelings and response to church and the Lord for years to come. Their viewpoints and perceptions must be considered valuable. . . . We must learn to attract, welcome, and follow up on guests so that they stay!

Our Welcoming God

Wanting to welcome newcomers to our church is more than a misguided attempt at consumer marketing. It is simply following the example set by God, who instructed Israel, “When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the LORD your God” (Lev. 19:33-34).

In the Old Testament, strangers were people of foreign blood, who wanted to live among the Israelites. Being outsiders and aliens, strangers did not normally enjoy the rights possessed by the residents of the country they visited. God instructed Israel, however, to welcome strangers, do them no wrong, and love them as members of the family. In practical terms strangers were allowed to listen to the reading of the law (Deut. 31:12); celebrate festivals, such as the Feast of the Atonement (Lev. 16:29) and the Feast of Booths (Deut. 16:14); and participate in religious observances (Num. 19:10). Outsiders enjoyed most of the same rights as native Israelites, such as freedom from oppression (Exod. 22:21), access to physical care (Lev. 19:10), and legal protection (Deut. 1:16; 24:17; 27:19). They also worked in building the temple (1 Chron. 22:2) and served in the army (2 Sam. 1:13).

The reason God required Israel to welcome strangers was the nation’s experience in Egypt. “For you also were strangers in the land of Egypt,” God explained. If anyone understood what it was like to be an oppressed outsider, it was Israel. “You shall not oppress a stranger,” God commanded, “since you yourselves know the feelings of a stranger, for you also were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Exod. 23:9; see Gen. 15:13). . . .

Jesus modeled the welcoming nature of God by accepting sinners. Luke describes one incident when Jesus tried to get away from the people to rest: “the crowds were aware of this and followed Him; and welcoming them, He began speaking to them about the kingdom of God and curing those who had need of healing” (Luke 9:11). Later, as tax collectors came to listen to Jesus teaching, the Pharisees and scribes criticized him for welcoming sinners (Luke 15:1-2). . . .

Getting ready for company is much more than a sociological process for welcoming newcomers. It is a theological demonstration of God’s grace. As God’s people, we are to be welcomers just as God is a welcomer. When we welcome newcomers to church, we are demonstrating the gracious love and care of God himself. . . .

Guest or Visitor

I suggest that we begin getting ready for company by eliminating the term visitor from our church vocabulary. In its place let’s insert the term guest. Doing this is much more than some foolish policy of political correctness. Each term brings to mind different images, and how we imagine newcomers affects how we will treat them. . . .

There is a difference between being a visitor . . . and being a guest. . . . Visitors are often unwanted; guests are expected. Visitors just show up; guests are invited. Visitors are expected to leave; guests are expected to stay.

Visitors come one time; guests return again. I suggest you begin to change your vocabulary. It will make a difference. . . .

We want to provide a warm and friendly welcome to first-time guests, but it takes more than friendliness to help newcomers connect at a deeper level. Beyond the First Visit is a guide to help you develop a complete process for welcoming and connecting guests to your church so that they stay!

Taken from pp. 7-14 of Beyond the First Visit by Gary L. McIntosh. Used by permission of Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, copyright © 2006. All rights to this material are reserved. Materials are not to be distributed to other web locations for retrieval, published in other media, or mirrored at other sites without written permission from Baker Publishing Group. Visit http://www.BakerPublishingGroup.com

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