How to Pray for Your Wife | Mark Weathers

Mark A. Weathers. How to Pray for Your Wife: A 31-Day Guide. Crossway, 2006. 158 pp.

Introduction

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
—Genesis 2:24

I see a unique tree every day while traveling to the church building where I minister. It’s a dogwood, and for the majority of the year it looks like any other dogwood in the southeast—slender divided trunk with a bushy green top. But this past spring it caught me off guard as it was coming into full bloom. The tree boasted of both white and pink blossoms intermingled throughout its branches.

It then occurred to me that this dogwood was not a single tree; it was two. Twenty plus years ago two dogwoods—one with white blossoms and one with pink—were planted only inches apart. As these two trees grew, their trunks fused into one, and their branches intertwined with the appearance of being just one tree. Only in the spring, when the vivid blossoms emerge, the tree reveals its uniqueness.

“And the two shall become one flesh.” What a beautiful picture this tree is of the mystery of the union created by God between a husband and wife. Two individuals grow together in such a way that their lives fuse together, and their gifts and talents intertwine to create a glorious and unique bouquet for the world to see.

As romantic as this picture is, though, I will be the first to admit that marriage is not always a bed of roses, or dogwood blossoms for that matter. It is true that God has wired men and women differently so as to complement each other, but the world, the flesh, and the devil seek to pervert these differences in order to disrupt unity and to taint intimacy.

In view of this, how do we as men in our God-given roles promote and encourage intimacy in our marriages? The only answer is through the gospel of grace. As children of the kingdom, God loves us unconditionally. He has entered into an everlasting covenant with us—a relationship not based on our works but based on his unchanging love. And since the marriage covenant is designed to reflect the heavenly covenant, the grace that holds us to God (i.e., “cling” as in Genesis 2:24) is the same grace that holds us to each other.

While the covenant is all of grace, we would be wise to study and better understand the uniqueness of masculinity and femininity as expressed in marriage. This is what I seek to do through this journal and study guide.

As a husband, I know it is my responsibility to pray for my wife. Often, though, I do not know the words to use, and I end up feeling that my prayers for her could be more effective. From marriage counseling and pastoral experience, I have met many men who share the same concern. The average Christian man does not know how to pray for his wife. Unfortunately, when we do not know how to pray, we end up not praying at all.

In this process of discovery, I have also found that many Christian women, who are honest enough to admit it, are not enthusiastic about Proverbs 31 because they think that they will never be able to measure up to its seemingly larger-than-life standards. This passage on the “excellent wife” can actually leave them feeling inadequate as wives and mothers. To make matters worse, churches can easily misinterpret this beautiful passage, stripping it of its intended grace, and use it to lay greater guilt on women who are just trying to make it through another day.

It was these thoughts that led me to study this mysterious passage and apply it to husbands for prayer. After an exegetical study of Proverbs 31, which, I might add, was written by a woman, I created this prayer calendar to aid in my prayers for my wife. Having prayed through these requests over the course of several years, I have seen the Lord bless both my wife and my marriage. With this book now in your hands, my prayer is that you and your wife might also experience the Lord’s blessing in your marriage. May the Lord give you grace and understanding of his gospel in such a way that your life and marriage stand as a monument to Christ and his glorious church.

How to Use This Book

This book is comprised of two parts. The first is an interactive prayer journal with thirty-one entries to correspond with the number of days in the month. It is a guide to help you understand and pray for your wife better (or your wife-to-be if you are single). With each day’s entry, you will see three things:

1. Translation: I have translated each verse at the top of the entry from its original Hebrew into a more literal reading, one that helps to bring out some nuances of the words and phrases.
2. Explanation: I have provided a further explanation pointing out significant details about the text and how they point to Christ and the covenant.
3. Supplication: Borrowing from the themes in the translation and explanation, I have supplied some suggestions for prayer. As you pray through these items, though, please do not feel limited to my suggestions. Use the translation and explanation as a starting point for your own prayers. This is where the journal becomes interactive. You will see spaces where you can write in your own thoughts and prayers.

The second part of this book is a Study Guide designed to help pastors and leaders in their teachings on marriage. It can be used in men’s Bible studies, men’s retreats, premarital counseling, or discipleship meetings. Feel free to be creative in your implementation of it.

As you read and pray through this devotional, I would like to encourage you to keep a couple of things in mind. First, Proverbs 31:10-31 was originally written as an acrostic poem. This means that the first letter of each verse corresponds to the Hebrew alphabet. This is significant because as an acrostic poem, it was easier to memorize, suggesting that the author wanted these important truths to be embraced.

Second, not only does this passage serve as instructional literature about women, but it also gives great insight into ecclesiology, the study of the church. God created marriage between a man and woman to be a physical picture of the spiritual union between Christ and his bride, the church. As you work through the deep truths of redeemed femininity, my prayer is that you will not only appreciate how your wife is constructed, but that you might also acquire greater insight into the role and mission of the church.

May these deep truths assist your prayers, and may your wife and you be encouraged by God’s grace as you grow in intimacy with the Lord and with each other. As you find yourselves embraced by grace, may your marriage become a beautiful reflection of the gospel for the world to see.

From How to Pray for Your Wife by Mark A. Weathers, © 2006, pp. 13-18. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187, www.crossway.com.

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