God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door | Alan Chambers

Alan Chambers. God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door: Reaching the Heart of the Gay Men and Women in Your World. Harvest House, 2006. 288 pp.

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
—1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Sixteen years ago, as an 18-year-old young man desperately battling unwanted same-sex attractions, there wasn’t much help available for me. But God knew what I needed, and He led me to the ministry of Exodus International. Since then many more resources have become available for men and women who struggle as I did. And yet there is still so much to be done.

Christians with “gay-identified” loved ones are eager to share the good news of Christ, but they wonder how they can do so without sounding judgmental. And can they actually promise those they love that change is possible—is change possible?

Churches too want to be involved with ministry to homosexuals, but they’re unsure of how to proceed. Should active gays be invited to church? Should the church start some sort of formal outreach . . . and what do they do when homosexuals do come to Christ? Are there effective ways to follow-up on new believers from a homosexual background?

As the president of Exodus International, I find the majority of the people I meet, regardless of their religious or political background, are anxious for answers to questions like these concerning homosexuality.

In fact, I recently had lunch with some friends, and the topic quickly turned to homosexuality. Feeling unequipped as Christians, they wanted answers to questions ranging from “Is it genetic?” to “Does the Bible really condemn homosexuality?” to “How can I love Christ and my gay neighbor without compromising what I believe?” Questions like these—and many others—are on the hearts and minds of Christians everywhere due to the increased awareness of homosexuality in our society. Fifty years ago a book like this could not have been published. Possibly not even twenty years ago. Being attracted to one’s own gender was simply not a topic for meaningful discussion in most circles.

But all that has changed. And yet in the church we’re lagging sadly behind in having a workable, scriptural response to the homosexuals who look to us for “good news.” For many, the church seems like a place where certain sinners aren’t welcome. With phrases like “turn or burn” and “get right or get left,” Christians have made those inside and outside the church fearful of being honest about their very real struggles. Many Christians don’t believe it’s possible that their church has members who deal with same-sex attraction—and yet most churches do indeed have such strugglers . . . and that probably includes yours. For the most part, these men and women struggle quietly. To admit to homosexual temptations is too risky.

We in the church have also given some wrong signals to those who do come to faith in Christ. For example, we’ve taken verses such as 2 Corinthians 5:17, which says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” and mistranslated it to mean, “Come to Christ and get fixed immediately. And if you struggle after you come to Christ, there’s something wrong with you.” . . . Transformation is a process. Many Christians struggle in their forward movement to maturity. God is gracious and more than able to love us in spite of our fallibility. And that’s our task: to effectively communicate God’s grace and power to change to a world that thinks to be a Christian one must either be perfect or a hypocrite.

But in order to effectively communicate God’s love to the homosexual, one of the most important prerequisites for anyone—church or individual—is to be clear on your motivation and your message. Why do you want to reach gays? Do you truly love them as Christ loves them? And exactly what is your message for gay men and women? Here’s a hint: If you think the Christian message for homosexuals is to “love the sinner, but hate the sin,” then I really encourage you to read on. This book will change your way of thinking—and ministering.

Sixteen years ago, when I got honest about my struggles with same-sex attraction, my thought was: I will go to counseling for six months, do everything I’m told, and be set free from my homosexuality, never to struggle again. Of course, that wasn’t how reality played out for me. I didn’t get a lobotomy. I did, however, get a foundational education on who God really is, why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, and how grace could be the single most healing factor in my life . . . if I grasped it. Today, I—like you—am still in the daily process of learning how to apply grace to my own life. And as I learn, I try to live out that message of grace and pass it along to those I’m called to minister to—men and women and youth who are dealing with unwanted attractions to their same sex.

God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door is about redemption, mercy, compassion, love, and, of course, grace. The simple truth is that Christ died for all of us or He died for none of us. As we consider ministering to those whose lifestyle we don’t understand, we must always remember to offer them the same grace, understanding, and love that Christ offered us.

There isn’t a special antidote for ministering to those with same-sex attractions any more than there is one for ministering to those with an unhealthy love for money, food, heterosexual sin . . . or whatever. The same God who sent His Son for you, sent His Son for the homosexual.

It really is that simple.

After all, God wasn’t after my homosexuality; He was after my heart. Once He had that, everything else began to change. I have watched that same wonderful scenario play out in the lives of thousands of men and women over the years as their eyes have been opened to the truth of God’s grace, redemption, love, and healing.

At Exodus International, we work every day to get the message of God’s grace out to as many as will listen. The combined experience of my colleagues at Exodus, who have pooled their vast wisdom on the following pages, should go a long way in answering your questions about reaching the homosexuals you know. I am convinced that as you read, you’ll find the confidence to go out and share God’s love and grace with your gay neighbor, or the one at work, or the close relative, or perhaps the one you’ve yet to meet.

God bless you as you go in His name.

Taken from God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door by Alan Chambers and the Leadership Team of Exodus International; copyright © 2006 by Alan Chambers and the Leadership Team of Exodus International; Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR; Used by permission.

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